The day I could finally leave the hospital was the day I had to go back. Robert and my mum were worried about me. At first we three just sat in our living room and talked. They told me about Ivan and asked me some questions about him or other things about my past life.
Everything they told me about Ivan was new to me, but apparently I remembered everything and everyone else.
I asked my parents about the girl – Liz – and about the boy, whose name I didn't know. The boy's name was Erik, he was a friend of Ivan and Elizabeth's (Liz's) brother. I didn't remember them, either.
My parents were worried that I couldn't remember parts of my life and that it seemed like I created memories of my own, false memories that never happened.
We waited in the hospital for an hour and forty minutes, the same doctor who treated me over the last week came and recognized me.
“Aria Cutton”, Dr. Miller greeted us. “Is everything okay?” He looked a bit surprised to see me and seemed worried that I got back on the same day I left. I couldn't blame him.
“Dr. Miller”, Robert shook the doctor's hand and nodded. “We need to talk to you, in private please.”
“Of course”, Dr. Miller replied. He asked us to follow him and went into a room, that looked like an office of some sort. “So, what can I do for you?”
Robert looked at me and nodded. Obviously I had to tell the doctor what was wrong with me. So I took a deep breath and looked the doctor straight in the eye. He still seemed a bit tense.
“I- I can't remember some parts of my life”, I began. “No wait, I actually do remember them, but my parents say I remember things that never happened.”
“Sorry”, Dr. Miller said and shook his head. “I can't follow you.” He motioned with his hand to the chairs in front of his desk. We all set down and Dr. Miller folded his hands on his desk, looking questionable at me.
“I met a guy today who told me he was my best friend, but I don't know him. He told me, he bought me this necklace” I showed him my necklace and looked at it, while playing with it, just to keep my hands occupied and stop them from shaking slightly. “But I remember my father buying this necklace for me.”
“But I didn't”, my father interrupted. “Her best friend Ivan did. She knows him since she was six, but she doesn't remember him.”
Dr. Miller frowned, while he listened to us. He told us he didn't know what was wring me, but he would arrange some test for me. Maybe there was something they didn't see after the car accident and I had more than an concussion. After several tests, scans, blood analysis and I don't know what else, I was allowed to go home. All in all I stayed in the hospital for another 2 hours. When we finally left, it was past midnight and I was so tired I could have slept right on the spot. The problem was that today I had to go back to school and with just these few hours to sleep, I didn't know if I would survive tomorrow. But I had more to worry about than school.
When we finally got home and I was back in my room, I didn't bother to change. I just fell face first into my bed and sleep took over almost instantly.
The next morning my alarm clock woke me way too early. I groaned and without opening my eyes I tried to punch it and make it stop. After a few I actually succeeded and fell back to sleep.
“Oh no Honey, you have school”, my mum chastised a minute later. “Get up or you'll be late!” I groaned again again and put my pillow over my head, trying to block her out. But she wouldn't have it and stole my pillow.
“Mum”, I whined.
“No!”, she said sternly. “Get you lazy ass out of your bed, shower, get dressed, eat and go to school. Now!” She stomped out of my room after her little speech and slammed my door. It took me another minute to actually get up, but when I did, I dragged myself into the bathroom and showered. The cold water hit me and squealed surprised and was instantly wide awake. Holy shit that was cold! After my three minute shower, I got dressed as fast as I could and went down to eat.
“Morning”, I said when I came into the kitchen. My mum stood in front of the oven and made scrambled eggs for Robert. Robert said on the kitchen counter and read the news.
“Morning”, they both mumbled in reply. I went to our cupboards, took a packet of pop tarts and put them into the toaster.
“Seriously little girl, how can you eat that stuff? It's gross”, Robert said and made a grimace, showing his disgust for my breakfast. I rolled my eyes and put my pop tarts on a plate.
“These are delicious!”, I replied smirking and taking a huge bite, the whole time grinning like an idiot. My dad laughed about my childish behavior and shook his head. He continued reading the news and licked his lips from time to time when he read something he didn't like.
“Okay, I'm leaving”, I announced and ate the last bit of my pop tart. I smiled at my parents and went to leave the kitchen.
“Aria!”, my mum called me back. “Huh?”, I asked and looked at her. She bit her bottom lip and looked really nervous about something. She always bit her lip when she was nervous, I came after her in that department. She looked at Robert for help and pleaded with her eyes for him to tell me whatever she wanted to tell me. Robert sighed, but complied and put his newspaper away.
“Normally Ivan drives you to school”, Robert said straight away.
For a moment I stopped to breath. I didn't even realize until I needed air and took a huge breath into my lungs. “Is he coming today?”, I asked. Could I do that?, I asked myself. Being in a car with someone I didn't know, pretending like I trusted him when I didn't?
“Depends”, Robert answered. “Do you want him to?” I shook my head, because I really didn't want to be in a car with someone I didn't even know. Robert sighed disappointed and stood up.
“Okay, then I'll drive you.” He grabbed his keys and made a motion for me to hurry up. So I skipped out of the room, put my chucks on, grabbed my schoolbag and left together with Robert. But when we came to the car I stopped.
“Robert”, I whispered. He didn't hear me and just went to driver's side and went in. “Hurry up, little girl”, he said, before he shut his door, but I couldn't move. I couldn't be in a car.
“Aria?”, Robert asked after opening the window. “You coming?”
“I can't go in there. I can't be in a car, Robert”, I whispered, but he heard me and gave me a sympathetic look. He nodded and got out of the car again. He came around and without another word he just gave me a hug and rubbed my back.
“Do you want to walk or use the subway?”, he asked, still rubbing my back.
“I think I will just walk, thanks”, I answered. “Go back in.”He looked at me, probably searching in my eyes if I really was okay with this. I nodded and gave him a little smile.
“You're really sure?”, he asked again. I nodded again and hugged him. He smiled at me and shoved me to start walking. “I'm going, I'm going”, I laughed and walked down our driveway and went into the direction of my school. Robert waved and smiled a little bit.
The walk to school was actually quite relaxing. All the while I listened to my iPod and watched the people around me, it was actually amusing to see see couples fight or children willing their parents to buy them a lollypop.
When I reached the school I went straight in and to my locker. It was a bit dusty in their after three weeks, but not too bad. What surprised me was a small box on my books. Frowning I took it into my hands.
“Aria Isabelle Cutton!”, Luna shouted down the hall and stormed to me. Surprised I looked at her and then put the box into my jacket pocket. Luna flung herself at me and hugged me like there was no tomorrow. “Where the hell have you been the last three weeks! You better have a damn good explanation! Do you know how worried I was?” Luna looked scary as hell when she was mad. Her eyes were turned into slits and she glared fiercely at me.
“You mean you don't know?”, I asked. Well, at least that would explain why none of my friends visited me.
Looking at Luna right now, showed me how much I've missed her. She was 5'5'' and always wore High Heels, she had platinum blonde hair with turquoise ends and light blue-gray eyes, she was skinny and had a normal sin color, not pale, not tanned.
“No, you never called me back. I called you so many times, I send you text messages, hell I even went over to your house, but nobody was there! Where the hell have you been?” She put her hands on her hips and glared at me.
“I was in a car accident and had to stay in the hospital until yesterday”, I replied. While I told her this, I searched in my back for my phone. I totally forgot about it and hadn't take a look at it since the accident. When I finally found it the battery - of course – was empty. “Damn”, I muttered.
“What?”, Luna gushed. “Oh my gosh! A car accident?! Are you okay again? Of course you are, otherwise you wouldn't be here, right? Are your parents okay? Why did you have to stay at the hospital, why didn't you tell, I would have come and visited you, I would have -”
“Luna! Luna!”, I interrupted her and tried to stop her from hyperventilating. “Calm down, Luna. Take deep breath, good, and again.” I nodded, while she took breath after breath. I linked my arm through hers and together we went to our first class: English. While we walked I told her what happened after the accident and she listened to my every word. When we reached our class room, we sat down next to each other and talked until our teacher arrived.
The morning went by really fast and then it was time for lunch. I wasn't really hungry and the food here wasn't so good, so most times me and my friends didn't really eat and anything. We just sat together, talked or did our homework. Sometimes we went out to grab a bite or buy a coffee, but most times we stayed here. It was just easier that way.
At our usual table weren't many people. Only three actually: Annie, her brother Cameron and Tanya. Annie was the tall, 5'7'' I think, she had black hair and bright red streaks, green eyes and was white as a ghost. Her brother looked a lot like her, the same pale skin, the same black hair and the same green eyes, but he was taller, 6'3'' probably. Tanya looked like a cousin, even if she wasn't one. Her hair and her skin, the same color, but she had blue eyes. They all looked up when we came near them and smiled. “Look who's back”, Cameron grinned.
“Shut up”, Annie laughed lightly. I grinned and shook my head at their usual banter.
“Where have you been?”, Tanya asked. “I called you time and time again!” I looked down guilty. I really should have checked my phone.
“She was in a car accident, so back off”, Luna snarled and sat down next to Annie. Of course again they all I exclaimed something about me being in the hospital, I just let them talk and waited for them to calm down, so I could tell them that I was fine. Again, I told them what happened to me and they all listened.
“Wait, you remember us, right?”, Cameron asked, a bit unsure of himself. He looked actually really nervous and massaged his neck. He always did that, it was a habit of him.
“Of course I remember your dumb ass”, I laughed. His shoulders relaxed instantly and he sighed in relief. “I'm actually glad”, he grinned sheepishly.
“Awww”, I cooed. “Did you miss me?” I grinned at him and he laughed lightly. After that we all fell back into our old ways and I was really glad that nothing had changed. But in the back of my mind I had this nagging thought that something was wrong.
“Guys?”, I asked after a while. They all looked up and waited for me to ask my question. “Am I- “ I sighed. “Am I really that close to this … Ivan?” I looked at all of them, one after another, while they glanced at each other a bit confused. Tanya was the first to speak.
“Yes, you are”, she answered. “You always are together. I mean I only know you two together, there are only a few times where we see you alone actually.” She frowned and looked down into her lap and fidget with her hands.
“I guess he normally sits here with us”, I guessed and looked questionable at her. She laughed lightly and shook her head. “No, you usually sit with him.” She motioned with her head to another table and I followed her gesture. She pointed at the table, where all the sport jocks sat, the cheerleaders and all the popular kids in general. At their table sat the three people I met only yesterday: Elizabeth, Erik and Ivan. Ivan looked at our table, or more specifically at me. His eyes shown sadness and longing. When he caught me staring at him, he gave me a weak smile.
“I sit … there?”, I asked, my voice full of doubt. They all nodded and confirmed something I couldn't quite believe.
“Okay”, I said and stood up. If that was where I normally sat I would sit there today as well. Maybe I would remember something, or rather someone, and I could solve this whole mess in my head. “Where are you going?”, Luna asked. “I need to remember, right?”, I asked and they all nodded their heads. “So I need to start somewhere”, I shrugged and made my way to their table.
I guess they all heard about what happened to me, because when I stood in front of their table, they all stopped talking and looked at me, probably expecting something for me to say. Ivan almost stood up, when he saw me coming, but Erik hold him back. They all looked a bit curiously and I was suddenly nervous.
“Can I sit here?”, I asked Ivan and fidget with my hands. A heart melting smile formed across Ivan's face and he nodded eagerly. Everybody moved a bit so I could sit between Ivan and Elizabeth. They both smiled at me and I tried to smile back, but I know it wasn't as convincing.
“So Aria”, Andre began. Andre Kellerhand was a football player at our school. I had no idea what football was about, so I didn't knew which position he played or how important it was. But I knew he was a player, had a new girlfriend every week and slept around, a lot! “Do you remember me?” He laughed at his own joke and grinned at me.
“Shut up, Andre!”, Ivan growled and glared furiously at Andre. He obviously was really protective of me, it was actually kind of cute.
“Andre”, I shook my head and smiled sweetly at him. He grinned back and winked at me. Ivan tensed beside me and clenched his hands into fists. “How could I forget such a man-whore?”, I asked him, still smiling silky sweet. The whole table burst out laughing, only Andre looked angry at me and his cheeks turned slightly pink.
“That's our Aria”, John snickered. He was also a football player and winked at me. This was really weird, I mean yeah I knew all of them, but just because they were popular, I didn't know them … personally. But they all behaved like we were friends.
Elizabeth, who sat on my right, tipped on my shoulder and I looked at her, raising both eyebrows, because I couldn't raise only one. She smiled and hold her hand out to me.
“I'm Elizabeth, but you normally call me Liz. I know you don't remember me, but we're actually really good friends and I really, really missed you these last three weeks.” I laughed lightly and shook her hand. “I'm sorry I can't remember you”, I answered and smiled a little awkward.
“No problem”, she laughed and grinned at me.
“Saphi – Eh, Aria?”, Ivan asked and I turned to him. “Can I talk to you? In private?” Ivan looked really nervous and self-conscious and even if I didn't really knew him at all, I just knew that he wasn't a person who was self-conscious about anything. I thought it was still a bit creepy that this guy was supposed to be my best friend and I didn't really knew him at all, but I still wanted to fix this so I gave him a chance and nodded. Ivan smiled a little and got up. I followed suit and we left the cafeteria. All the while the football jocks made cat calls or something equally stupid.
Ivan and I went outside to a little group of trees and Ivan sat down. I wasn't sure if I should sit down next to him or just stand there and wait for whatever he wanted to tell me.
“Please, sit down”, Ivan asked. “It would be weird, if you just stood there.” He laughed a little, but I knew it was forced. It sounded fake and he grimaced as he heard his own laugh. I laughed lightly when I saw his face and sat down next to him. Ivan smiled gratefully at me.
“Thanks for talking to me”, he said. “And I'm really, really sorry. I was a total jerk to you and for you it was the first impression of me. Really Aria, I'm not like that, and we are -”
“It's okay”; I interrupted. “I understand, really.“ Ivan heaved a sigh of relief and closed his eyes. For a while we just sat there, next to each other and said nothing. The silence was almost unbearable, it was so damn uncomfortable you could cut the tension with a knife.
“So, this is awkward”, Ivan stated the obvious and looked at me a little unsure of himself. I giggled and smiled at him. “Trust me, it's worse for me.” He smiled at me, but it was a sad smile and I realized what I just said. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that.”
Ivan shook his head and offered me a small smile. “It's okay.”
“No it's not”, I almost screeched. “God, this is so messed up! Everybody tells me we're best friends, that we're practically inseparable and that we do almost everything together! They tell me how much fun we always have together and that they couldn't imagine one of us without the other and I can't even remember you. I can't remember my best friend and I'm so so sorry Ivan, I really am. I can't imagine what it must be like for you.”
“Are you apologizing?”, Ivan asked incredulously. “Aria, none of this is your fault! I mean yeah it's sucks that you can't remember me, but that isn't your fault! You hear me? You can't blame yourself for this. I” He took a deep breath. “I just want a chance from you. I know you have no idea who I am, but I know you, probably better than you know yourself” He smiled at me, I couldn't help but smile back at him. “And I want to be friends with you again. Maybe you will remember some things, when we do stuff we always did together, and even if you don't, maybe we will become friends all over again.” Ivan looked pleadingly into my eyes and took a hold of my left hand. He squeezed it lightly and just looked into my eyes. This brown orbs looked so full of hurt, but so full of hope, that I just couldn't say no to him, so I nodded.
“Thank God”, he breathed a sigh of relief and without even really thinking about it he pulled me into a bone crushing hug. His arms wrapped around me and I was trapped. One hand was on the small of my back and the other stroked my hair. And as fast as his arms wrapped around me, he pulled back and looked at me with wide eyes.
“Sorry, I was just -” He didn't look really sorry, but nervous that I maybe would freak out again, but I didn't plan on. I just shook my head and smiled at him. “It's okay. We're 'soon to be friends again', so I guess hugs are normal.”
He smiled in return and I could see small dimples. How cute!, I thought and giggled. Wait, what was I thinking? He was not cute!
“What?”, he asked chuckling. But I didn't want to answer him so I just stood up and brushed the dirt from my jeans. “What?”, Ivan asked again, when he too stood. His stare was really intense and he titled his head to the side a little.
“You have dimples”, I shrugged, while biting my lip. It sounded so strange to say something like that. But Ivan didn't seem to mind, he actually laughed about it. “I know, you always remind me of that fact.” He rolled his eyes, grinning. Did I? It actually sounded like something I would do, but I still couldn't be sure. Even if I didn't have a reason not to trust Ivan, I was just … not sure. I don't really know why, it was just a felling in my stomach.
“Ivan? Can you do me a favor?”, I asked.
“Of course”, he answered straight away.
“Can you try to behave like I remember you, please? I mean I know it's weird and I know I will probably react different, but still. I talked to Luna about it, and we both think it's more realistic that I get my memories back, when everybody behaves like I could remember.”
Ivan's mouth formed a small smile and he nodded. “Of course I can”, he laughed. “Actually I would love to, but you know it will be weird for you, right?” He looked concerned at me and a little bit worried, and it warmed my heart a little. Nodding I answered that I knew exactly what I was doing. “But you have to promise me something”, Ivan said before we went back in. I raised my eyebrows and waited for him to elaborate. “Promise that when you feel uncomfortable or you just feel weird or anything else, that you'll tell me. Saphira, we're more than close, we're like glued at our hips and if you want me to behave like always.” Ivan stopped. He looked really uncomfortable and pulled at his hair in frustration. “It's just that-. God, this would be so much easier if you just could remember all of this”, he sighed.
“Sorry”, I mumbled. Ivan laughed without humor. “You always apologize for things that aren't your fault”, he said shaking his head and smiling.
“Just know, that” Again, he sighed. “We hug a lot, I wrap my arms around your hips, around your shoulders, I carry you, over my shoulder, bridal style or on my back, you always kiss my cheek and play with my fingers or touch my hair, only god knows why, but you do. I mean, damn, when we were 13 you asked me to give you hickey and I still do it sometimes.”
“W- Wait, what?”, I asked. Stop! Hugs, little kisses on the cheek, I mean that's normal, that's what best friends do, but hickeys? Why the hell would he give me hickeys?
Again Ivan looked really nervous, he didn't met my eyes and fist his hands into his hair. He closed his eyes and took a really deep breath. “I'm sorry”, he breathed. “But it's the truth and if you really want me to behave like always around you, you need to know what you're getting yourself into.”
I gulped. Hugs, little kisses and being carried around, I thought about it. I didn't really like it, when people carried me, but I guess I could avoid that, hugs were totally fine with me, and a kiss on the cheek here and there wouldn't kill me, but I really didn't want him to mark me. “O- Okay, but can you try to not mark me?”, I asked. “Or carry me?”
Ivan laughed. “You never liked it when I carried you.”
“Then why did you?”, I asked confused.
“It's fun”, he answered shrugging. “Now, that that's settled, let's go back in, Saphira.” He put an arm around my shoulders and guided me back to the cafeteria, smiling the whole time. I guess he was happy that I at least wanted to try. But there was still something I didn't understood.
“Why are you calling me that?”, I asked. “You mean Saphira?”, he raised an eyebrow. I just nodded. “Because of your eyes. When we met, you were dressed in a midnight blue dress, it made your blue eyes even brighter and more pronounced. You had paint all over you”, he laughed. “In your hair, your face, hands, arms, legs, the dress, everywhere. But your eyes shone so much happiness and looked like sapphires, it was the first thing that came to my mind. You ran into me and apologized. I just said 'Anytime, Saphira' and the nickname stuck.”
That was such a cute story I just had to smile. We sounded adorable as kids. Ivan smiled at me, but seemed lost in his memories. In this moment I tried really hard to remember this moment, but I couldn't. Yes, I could picture two little kids running around and meeting, but I just didn't see me and I couldn't imagine Ivan as a little boy, I just couldn't.
“Nothing?”, Ivan asked, when he saw my frown. With his index finger he touched my forehead and I relaxed again. “No”, I sighed and shook my head sadly, looking at the ground. “Stop sulking about it”, he chuckled and nudged my shoulder with his.
The rest of the day was surprisingly good. I asked all of my friends to act like everything was okay with my memory and like I remembered everything as clear as ever. And they had no problem to do just that. Most times we didn't even talk about the past, so it wasn't such a big deal, but sometimes I just said there, listened and had no idea what we were talking about.
At the end of the day, I sighed in relief and was glad to finally get home. There were actually more people I couldn't remember and I didn't know what to do about it. It was of course nice of these people to tell me they were there for me, or that they were sorry, but it didn't change the fact that I had no idea who they were.
“Saphira, wait up!”, Ivan shouted behind me.
I walked slower so Ivan could catch up with me, when he did he slung an arm around me and walked with me. But he guided me into another direction, to the parking lot.
“How was your day?”, he asked.
“Fine, I guess. A bit weird.”
“Yeah, I can imagine”, Ivan frowned. “How did it go with the others? They all are acting normal, too or are they bothering you?”
“No, no”, I shook my head. “They are behaving like always, but you know, sometimes they are talking about things and except me to know about them too.”
“But you don't”, Ivan declared.
I nodded a little sheepish. Ivan just grinned and ruffled my hair. “It's okay”, Ivan cooed and pouted. Laughing we went to a black car, an Audi, and Ivan opened the door on the passenger side for me with a huge smile on his face.
“I'm always driving to school and bringing you home”, he helped me out. Right, I thought. Robert mentioned something like that this morning.
“I know”, I said. Suddenly Ivan's face lit up and I felt awful saying my next words. “Robert told me.” Ivan's face fell. I wanted to go to him, comfort him and tell him I could remember, that I knew who he was, but I didn't, so I kept quiet. “But I can't, sorry.”
“Why not?”, Ivan asked hurt. He came over to me, leaving the door open.
“I just can't”, I replied and turned away from him.
“Saphira, please.” Ivan's pleading tone made me stop mid step and I sighed. “Talk to me.”
I turned around and looked at him. His eyes were pleading me to explain to him, why I refused to drive with him. A simple gesture of kindness for every person, just not me right now. So I refused to look at him and found the floor extremely interesting.
“I- I can't be in a car”, I admitted slowly, still looking at the floor.
“With me?”, he asked hurt.
“No!”, I cried and finally looked up. Ivan was shaking his head, already in mid turn back to his car. His arms just hanging from his body, like useless package. His head hanging low, like he couldn't find the power to hold it up.
“It's okay”, he murmured, waving me off and going to his car. He just went to the driver's site and opened the door, sighing sadly. This side of him, I couldn't take it. I may not remember Ivan, but my heart maybe did because it gave a tight squeeze seeing Ivan like this. I didn't want him to be sad, I never wanted to see him like this, this broken and devastated. Without planing on I ran to Ivan, pushed on his shoulders and slammed him into his car. His back on the car door, behind the one for the driver. He looked shocked and honestly, I couldn't blame, because so was I. But I still did it and grabbed his collar.
“It's not because of you”, I emphasized. “After the accident I just can't be in a car, okay? It has absolutely nothing to do with you!”
Ivan stared at me with wide eyes, his mouth a bit open. My breathing was heavily and Ivan and I just stared at one another, none of us saying a word or moving a muscle. I was quite shocked myself about my strong reaction, but I just couldn't help myself. Ivan seeing this sad just brought this reaction out of me.
“I'm sorry”, I said. I loosened my grip around his collar, let my hands fall back to my sides and took a step back from Ivan. His eyes were kind of glassy and he still looked at me, not uttering a word. “I shouldn't have react like this. Did I hurt you?”
Ivan shook his head, his eyes not leaving mine. I didn't know what to do with myself, but I thought just walking away wasn't the best idea either now, so I stayed were I was and waited for Ivan to say something.
“Thank you”, he breathed and smiled at me.
“No problem?”, I asked smiling slightly.
Ivan laughed and pulled me into a hug. He took a deep breath, while he clutched me against him for dear life. And I felt save, the feeling just washed over me and I liked it. It was like my sub-conscience told me Ivan was indeed my best friend and I could trust him.
“I will bring you home”, Ivan stated and his tone left no room for arguments, so I just sighed and walked with him by my side. He chuckled and pulled me to him, again. He seems really into the whole hugging thing, but it really seemed natural with him, so I leaned into him and just enjoyed this one moment.
It was still weird to feel this comfortable around an almost stranger, but because of Ivan behaving like we knew each other our whole life's I felt like I knew him longer than half a day and I believed my friends and parents, when they told me Ivan would never harm me.
“So, how was your day?”, I asked.
“Nah, wasn't too good, but okay.”
“Why, what happened?”, I asked.
“You don't wanna know”, he said and shook his head, avoiding my eyes. I took a hold of his belt loop and made him stop.
“Tell me”, I demanded. But Ivan was damn stubborn – as was I – and shook his head. We made a staring contest, but Ivan wouldn't budge, so I thought I would try something else. I pouted and looked at him under my long lashes. I pressed my whole body against his and saw him gulp. I trailed one finger down his neck, his chest and again pulled in his belt loop, so he stumbled against me.
“Please?”, I asked my mouth inches from his chin, because he was so much taller then me. I saw his Adams apple wobble slightly and looked at me like a piece of meat. Ivan's breathing became labored and his hands turned into fists at my hips. He nodded like a lost puppy and I smiled triumphantly and gave him a little more space between us.
“You're evil, woman. You're an evil, mean, mad woman”, Ivan said with his eyes turned into slits. I just laughed, because I couldn't agree more right at this moment.
“So?”, I asked innocently. Ivan sighed and pulled a hand to his forehead, just rubbing it for a moment.
“Sure?” Again I nodded. “It sucked because a lot of guys said a lot of bad stuff about you and I had a lot of dudes to punch.”
“You punched someone?”, I asked shocked.
“Eleven someones”, he muttered.
“What?!”, I screeched.
“Calm down”, he said rolling his eyes. “Hat the guys said- ”
“Are you okay?”, I interrupted him. “Did you hurt yourself?”
For a moment Ivan looked confused at me and I waited for an answer. And when he didn't answer I began to form the worst scenarios in my head. My eyes went wide and I just grabbed one of Ivan's hands looking for damage. His left hand was uninjured, just a bit red, so I let it fall and grabbed his right. His right hand was a different thing entirely. His knuckles were swollen, red and the skin was cut open, and his thumb seemed to bruise.
“Oh my gosh”, I said, when I saw his hand. “I'm so sorry.”
“What, why?”, he said and took his hand away from me.
“It's my fault you punched them, isn't it?”, I asked and looked him in the eyes.
Ivan rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Don't be stupid.”
“Then why did you?”, I crossed my arms in front of my chest and stared at him. Ivan stared calmly back at me. He looked like this whole deal didn't bother him at all and it was a normal thing for him to punch eleven guys every day.
“See”, I said, when he couldn't answer me. “Hand.” Ivan raised an eyebrow and I rolled my eyes. Seriously, why did this guy have to be so difficult? “Give me your hand, please.” Ivan grinned and gave me his hand back. I scrunched my nose up, seeing it again. “This needs to be treated.” Ivan took his hand back again and laughed. He slung an arm around me and guided me forward.
“This is nothing, Saphira, don't bother.”
“But I do bother!”
“Then stop?”, Ivan suggested. I gave him a look and he chuckled. “Okay, but seriously, this is nothing. It looks worse than it is. It doesn't hurt, promise.”
“Promise?”, I asked.
“Sure”, he shrugged. I didn't believe him, because 1) he avoided my eyes and 2) he didn't really promise it, with his 'sure'. His right arm was around my shoulders, my left hand in his belt loop on the left side of his hip. After a few seconds my hand snatched out and I hit Ivan's left hand. He groaned.
“Liar!”, I screamed at him. Ivan groaned again and glared at me. I glared right back, because I was right. His hand hurt like a bitch and it needed to be treated, now!
“This was unnecessary, Saphira”, Ivan glowered.
“I will make you a suggestion“, I offered. “you let me treat your hand and in return you have a free wish?”
“Free wish?”
“Free wish”, I confirmed.
“You got a deal”, he grinned. We shook hands and Ivan smiled like an idiot. He had this glint in his eyes, that for a minute I doubted my decision, but Ivan came first right now.
We got home pretty fast, all the way Ivan whining that he was okay and that it wasn't necessary to treat his hand, but he still followed me.
“I'm home!”, I called when Ivan and me stepped into my house.
“Great!”, my Robert said from behind me. I gasped and span around.
“You scared the crap out of me!”, I cried.
“And you shouted while I was standing 2 feet away”, Robert smirked.
Ivan chuckled, but tried to cover it as coughing. He cleared his throat, when he saw my glare. “Hey Robert, long time no see.”
“Ivan”, Robert smiled and they both gave each other this 'man hug' thing. They began talking and I went into the kitchen. We didn't have the cliche peas, but we had some frozen beans. I took them out of the freezer and went to back to Ivan.
“Up to my room, now”, I commanded. Ivan and Robert stopped talking and looked at me. “Now”, I said and gestured with my hand to the staircase. Robert chuckled and patted Ivan on the back. He mumbled something that sounded a lot like 'Good luck', but I wasn't sure. Ivan saluted smirking and went up the stairs. He went straight into my room and plopped down onto my bed. I sat down beside him and gently took his hand. The beans would hopefully help the swelling and maybe then, I could clean the little cuts and disinfect the whole hand. Ivan hissed through his teeth, but didn't complain.
“I'm sorry”, I said.
“Stop it”, Ivan growled, “It's not your fault.”
“It is”, I insisted. And no matter how often he would deny it, I knew it was my fault. Don't get me wrong, I was grateful that he was so protective of me and punched other guys so they didn't talk bad about me behind my back, but eleven where entirely too much.
Without waiting for an response, I stood up and went into my bathroom. I had an disinfection spray and took it out, then a towel and a few tissues. Then I went back into my room, seeing Ivan laying there with his eyes closed. He was still awake, I could tell. I took the beans from his hand and it actually looked a little better and a small smile crept onto my face.
“This could hurt a little”, I murmured when I sprayed on his knuckles. He hissed again, but didn't pull his hand away or moved it at all. I began cleaning his cuts as good as I could and tried to hurt Ivan as minimal as possible.
“Finished”, I said.
“Thank you, Saphira”, Ivan smiled. He came into a sitting position and kissed my cheek. Right after he fell back down, he put a pillow behind his head. I could still feel his lips on my cheek, because a burning sensation burst through my body and I bet I blushed furiously at this moment.
“Wanna watch a movie?”, I asked while putting the stuff I used away. I was in the bathroom and frowned when he didn't answer me. When my stuff was pulled away I stepped back into my room and Ivan scrutinized me with his eyes.
“You're uncomfortable”, he stated, it wasn't a question.
“No I'm not”, I said too fast.
“Yes, you are”, he insisted. “You always ask me to watch a movie when you're uncomfortable. You have this unrealistic thought that the change of subject might help the situation and make it less uncomfortable.” And he was right, I did think that. I mean, I knew it was useless, but I still thought it was better than nothing.
“So you want to, or not?”, I asked not looking at him.
“Sure”, he laughed. “But if you're uncomfortable around me I can leave, Saphira, you know that right? It's okay, really, I understand it and I won't be angry or anything.” He looked sincerely at me and showed me that he really did understand me and he wouldn't mind at all. And because he did understand, I didn't want him to leave.
“No, I want you to stay, but you don't have to”, I said unsure.
“Oh, trust me, I do want to”, he smirked and laid there, offering me a place beside him. “So, what shall we watch?”
“I don't know. Comedy? Romance? Horror?” In the end Ivan picked a film I didn't know, it was a movie about
some school massacre. I hated scary movies, so I forced even to cuddle up with me. He didn't mind and put his arms around me. I buried my face into his neck or chest multiple times, but again, Ivan didn't mind. He probably was used to it, if we really have been friends for years.
We somehow lay together under my blanket and watched movie after movie. And after the third movie I was dead tired. I wanted to tell Ivan, but found him already sleeping beside me. I smiled a little, seeing him sleeping. He just looked so … beautiful. It's weird to call a guy beautiful, and not hot or gorgeous, but it was true, he looked beautiful, peaceful and more relaxed.
I tried to wriggle out of his hold around me, but the more I moved away from him, the more his hold around me tightened and he pressed me harder against him. So I was trapped and thought of ways to stand up and let him sleep. But I found none, so I had to wake him.
“Ivan”, I whispered. “Ivan.”
“Let him sleep”, my mum said from my door. Surprised I looked at her and blushed, because of the position Ivan and I were in. Both of us in my bed under my blanket, Ivan's arms around me, and my body half on top of his. “Just make sure you both get some sleep and make it on time to school tomorrow. He has an overnight bag under your bed so he will have clothes for tomorrow. Good night honey”, my mum smiled.
“Yeah, ohm, night mum”, I mumbled, my face burning with the color of a tomato.
My mum just smirked and giggled on her way out if my room, closing the door behind her.
Keine Kommentare:
Kommentar veröffentlichen